Parents, Teachers, & Conferences! Oh My!

 This week was parent-teacher conference week. Parents working long hours dread it. Teachers working long hours dread longer hours. Students who have parents that will soon be talking to teachers dread it. It really isn't that merry of an occasion.With that said, I love my kids. So, despite the extended hours and difficult conversations ahead, I look forward... no, that may not be the right choice of words... I appreciate the opportunity  to communicate face to face with the parents of the kids I have come to love so much!

Conference #86 billion and one...ok, not really, but it IS 6PM 

and I have been conferencing in 15-30 minute incremements since 1PM, and planning, teaching, cleaning, etc.etc. since 7:15 in the morning. 

The mom comes in and gives me a hug! She says I am beautiful! She wants to see a picture of me with my husband, and proceeds to tell me that we will have beautiful babies. This is not what I expect. God is good to me!

***

At the parent conference I had with this mom in the beginning of the school year, Mom came through the door like a whirlwind. She talked about her make-up, the dinner she had on the stove at home, the laundry that needed to be done... and I finally had to interrupt to say that I would make this quick, but it was important and I was glad she could be here. I showed her the F her daughter had in math. I told her the truth, that her daughter was at least a grade level behind, and more importantly, her daughter didn't seem to believe in herself. She gave up easily. She shrugged off her work, and didn't seemed fazed by her dwindling grades. I asked mom to bring her daughter to school an hour early twice a week, so I could work with her.

After the F conversation, I told mom that her daughter was something special and that she had a beautiful future ahead of her, and mom responded in surprise, "My daughter? I guess she can be sweet... she sure is a handful."  Mom then looked at me, at the F, and said, "I have my period, and cramps are killing me. Can I take off now?" That took me by surprise. I just managed to say, "Please bring her early every Tuesday and Friday for tutori--!" Mom was out the door. HOWEVER, every Tuesday and Friday from that day forward her daughter was at my door an hour before school, ready for tutoring.

***

So back to our current conference, after I showed mom the B! Yes B! her daughter was earning in math, and I spoke about her daughter's future and what a special little lady she is and how joyful she has become... mom looks me in the eye and says thank you. She tells me that there are many teachers that her five children have had over the years; teachers who are tired, worn out, and barely making it themselves. She says she is the last person to complain, because she can barely make it some days with her own five children at home. She cannot imagine a classroom of 30. But, then she adds, a parent knows when a teacher is there for her child. She says, you have a gift from God Mrs. LaGravinese and you have changed my daughter's life. You have made her fall back in love with learning, and for that I thank you so much.

I try to explain that Mom is the one who has made her daughter get up early in the morning, and brought her to tutoring with me every week. I tried to thank her for this--but she stopped me.

No, she says. Unfortunately, with five children to care for, a house to clean, and a job to get to, I haven't been the one to get her tutoring. It's my daughter. She sets her alarm early enough to get up and make breakfast, to shower and get ready, and then she begs me to get out of bed and drive her to tutoring. She never forgets, Mrs. LaGravinese. I can't believe it. She wouldn't miss it for the world. She respects you. Thank you so much.

Conference #86 billion and 2.... slight exaggeration, but it IS 6:30PM   

These parents I know well. We email frequently. We have met with the school counselor several times, and the principal knows their son by name. He is as unique as they come, and hand crafted by God for something special... but I'm pretty certain it's not a classroom desk, LOL. He alone I could blog about for a year straight. He is HILARIOUS. And SMART, really super out-of-the-box smart. And, incapable of finding a pencil, or putting papers in a folder, or following instructions that do not agree with his prerogative. If he is asked to, I don't know, put his name on his paper, there is a 50-50 chance he might have a nervous breakdown and literally dump his desk onto the floor in a moment of monstrous frustration. He might plop into the middle of the disaster he has just strewn across the carpet and begin to toss crinkled papers into the air. Meanwhile he will likely shout repeatedly, "Where's my pencil? My pencil? WhereismypencilWhereismypencilWhereismypencilWhereismypencil????"

***

This is the same kid that on the first day of school I was going through the expectations of the classroom, when I said, "It is wise to do your homework in a quiet area. Guys, that means NOT in front of the TV!" The kids giggle, but this particular student waves his hand in the air like he has something very urgent to share, so I say, "Yes?" not knowing who I am talking to. Yet.

He responds, "But, WHY can't we do homework in front of the TV?" 

I think to myself, did he not just hear me? So I repeat, "You need to work in a quiet area so that you are able to fully focus. The tv is a distraction." 

Instead of nodding, he raises his hand again, waving it even more urgently. 

"Yesss?"

"But what if the tv isn't ON?"     

   ...  You've got me there. I break into laughter, and our teacher-student relationship begins.

 ***

The conference went by smoothly; we brainstormed ways to minimize disrupting his classmates, and still encourage his out-of-the-box way of learning and thinking. We find out he has an anxiety disorder, and that is why he struggles. We shake hands, and they are off.

Conference #86 billion and 3.... not much of an exaggeration by now. It IS officially LATE. 

As my next conference begins, and the mother begins to cry because her father is sick with cancer in the hospital, I hug her and pray for her, and I think, this is my life's work right now. This verse today says it all, and I thank God wholeheartedly for the opportunity I have to glory in Him through teaching, and to bring Him glory in the workplace. I love my God, and I know that one day I will stand in heaven with Jesus, and see the neat things He has done through me.

Every child is worth it.

Colossians 3:23-24
23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.

Ejaculated is a fancy word

  I was recently talking with a friend who is teaching in Tajikistan. She needed a good laugh, like every teacher, and every human being... especially when times are tough and you feel alone. She also needed sanity. I wasn't sure if I had enough of the latter to send her, but the least I could do is share one of my latest... moments.

  So, here's how it went.

  I have some of the sweetest and innocent little girls this year. A few weeks ago, one of them approached me during silent reading time with an inquisitive and proud look on her cute, freckled face. I beckoned her over, and she pointed to her book questioningly. "Look Mrs. L! I found a fancy word for said!" (I am always telling them to keep an eye out for fancy words that authors use, that they can use in their own writer's workshop books.) As I glanced down, Jenny pronounced it for me, "e..jac..ejaculated?" 

  Sure enough. That was the word. Don't worry! It was nothing sexual. Ejaculated was being used in the context of "said" or "replied". What were YOU thinking? Well, I was thinking the same thing. Who uses the word ejaculated in a children's book as a good word for said? I was so surprised in the moment that I still can't recall the sentence; you can imagine though, it went something like, "Run, quickly," ejaculated Mr. so and so. Jenny stood, blinking, waiting to know the meaning. "It means, he shot the words out quickly.Way to go, Jenny!" I responded honestly. What more could I do? She beamed, like she had hit the royal jackpot in word choice. "Wow. Ejaculated...Thanks!" she quipped, and trotted back to her pillow to read more.

  The moment passed, and I briefly considered the possible consequences, but soon I began math and it was a thing of the past. Over the next week my little reader had written her latest book in writer's workshop. Another week, and she had edited and published her book. It was time for author's chair. Jenny was the only student to publish that day, and headed up to the grand author's chair. The rest of the students crowded round her on the mat. I was busy getting my writing notebook to jot notes as she began to present her book. I was enjoying the story, and so were the students. In fact, the room was silent, other than the high-pitched, enthusiastic fifth grade voice reading aloud.

  

  Suddenly, I heard the word. She had used it in her book!? I'm usually a really calm person. But, I had a minor panic attack. Heat rose to my cheeks, and I felt my heart beating against my chest. Boys, boys, boys... All I could think in that moment, was nooooo. It was like slow-motion, eeejacuuuulatttted. It had been said. Several of the boys would be quick to pounce on this. I expected full on nudges, laughs, coughs (insinuating something other than a sore throat); whispers of conspiracy, girls looking around in surprise, wide eyes, wide eyes looking at me, wondering how I would handle this word. Innocent eyes wondering what was going on. And above all, poor Jenny up front reading her word loud and proud. Behold, class, this is my fancy word for said! I had to take control before the tornado hit. I put on my stern face and surveyed the audience, ready to catch the eyes of any mischievous boys before they could stir the pot.

  But you know what? There was nothing. Not a giggle. Not a smirk. Maybe a few suspicious eyebrows went up, but that was it! Amazing. I tried to go back to regular breathing, as Jenny continued, oblivious to my mini meltdown.

  And like that, it was over. PHEW. Parent phone calls and principal meetings averted. Praise God! I could only have imagined. "Hi Mrs. L. This is Jenny's mother. Today in class... ejaculated? Why ever would you teach my little girl such a word?" Word, word, word. My heart had just begun to slow again, and compliments began. (After every author's chair, students raise their hands with compliments for the author. The author picks two compliments, and then picks two more students to ask questions. The students have been taught to give quality compliments, like "I enjoyed your simile when you said... or, you used great voice through your character when he said...etc. So as the author reads their book, students are actively listening for writing to compliment afterward. Once two compliments have been given, the author can choose two more people to ask questions.)

  I scribbled a few more notes in my notebook as the first compliment began. It was Melissa, the petite, blonde sitting cross-legged near the front. She had been waving her hand excitedly and glancing back and forth happily from me to Jenny, me to Jenny. She must of had a good one.

  She's a sweetie pie, and tries really hard; of all the students though, she is far below grade level in reading and writing. Melissa has a hard time formulating her thoughts, and remembering ideas. This makes complimenting the author's chair particularly difficult-- she struggles to remember specifics from the story. So, when she was picked by the student to give her compliment, it was quite the event. Clear as day, she sat right up and announced, "I LOVED your word choice! E...jaculated!" Then she turned toward me, nodding and smiling so big, as if to say, did you hear that Mrs. L?? Did you see that I remembered the really good word choice!?

  Oh man.

  Really??? Of all the words Jenny used in her book, words like plethora, anticipate, shuffled... little ol' Melissa was able to recall ejaculated? And we all know Melissa had no intention of being anything but helpful and kind in her compliment. I had to smile back at her, and give the approving nod. Well done, Melissa. Well done, here we go. Let's rumble.

  If the rest of the class hadn't caught it on the first go round, they sure as day couldn't have missed this compliment, announced boldly for all the world to hear! I braced myself for the worst, and fully expected the principal to walk in to observe my cute author's chair activity. Then I fully expected the principal to ask me why, why Mrs. L, are you teaching our students to use the word ejaculated for said. What standard is that meeting? Would parents really approve of that? Aren't there other words for said that would be more... appropriate, perhaps?

  Despite the pain I was personally experiencing, my students said and did nothing. No reaction whatsoever. What?! Who are these kids and since when do they turn down a moment like this??? This is a miracle, is all I could think. While I continued to dialogue in my head, the next student complimented about sentence fluency or something like that, and that was it. It was time for questions. Compliments were over, and by an act of grace, I had escaped injury free. 

 Students waved their hands for questions. Jenny picked someone, and I closed my writing notebook with relief. Then I heard a snide voice (and to this day I don't know who asked it), "So, Jenny.. what DOES ejaculated mean???"

 Jenny smiled sweetly, and gave me a thumbs up. Thanks Mrs. L. You are the greatest Mrs. L. Let me teach the class all about it.

  "Well," Jenny answered in her all knowing voice, looking at each student with importance, "Ejaculated means to shoot out quickly!!!"

Silence.

"Right, Mrs. L???" All eyes on me.

I teach. I laugh. I have minor panic attacks. Welcome to my world... I hope it brings you laughter too.