Grace is My Favorite Part of God These Days

"The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us." -- C.S. Lewis

I saw this quote from C.S. Lewis the other day and thought it was meaningful, especially to my stage of life right now. I've experienced a lot of breakthrough's recently. To the onlooker they may appear insignificant, but for me, absolute miracles! Relationships mended, freedom from sins that have tangled me for a long time, changes in my thinking, healthy habits I longed for... just lots of amazing things. 

Let it be said that since childhood I have labored to conquer imperfection. I'm goal oriented. ;) Yet, imperfection clung around like a sea urchin on a rock in a storm. I have journal pages of goals, then remorse, and I definitely came to understand the feeling of 'not-good-enough-ness'. With that came more striving and goal setting... and the cycle continued. While goals are good and well, they don't produce lasting peace. Ultimately it has been the inability to produce enough perfection that led me to the realization I cherish today: I am weak. 

BUT HE IS STRONG!

 It reminds me of a children's song from summer vacation bible schools. You may have heard it. The lyrics went like, "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to him belong, we are weak, but he is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. The Bible tells me so." (If you haven't heard this relic, worry not-- here ya go!)

 

 Such a simple song, haha, but apparently the lyrics took a few years to hit home. 

Anyway, I have experienced more gratitude in the year 2013 than in all the years prior. I believe it's because of this teaching in 2Corinthians 12:9. The disciple Paul was originally Saul, a devout, highly respected Jew with all his ducks in a row and much of which to boast- the best education, family ties, religious ranking. Not to mention, goal-oriented and driven... until the day came that Jesus told Saul he had it all wrong. With new name, Paul placed his faith in Jesus Christ, and started serving Christ. He brought much knowledge and passion to the table. But he eventually faced a problem that was insurmountable. It just stuck around... yep, like a sea urchin clinging to a rock in a storm. Sound like something/someone in your life? After repeatedly asking God to help him, Paul tells of God's reply:

2Corinthians 12:9

⁹ But he [Jesus] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

And Paul immediately sees the situation differently:

Therefore I [Paul] will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 

 When I would be having a difficult time with something or someone, my mom would say, "Rachel, you're trying to do it in your own strength! Just give it to God." That was annoying. I was like, Mom?! I AM praying for God to help me! But in certain matters, despite my best efforts, the trouble remained. What I didn't get, was that I was praying that God would give me more strength, give me more wisdom, give me more success, give me more. I failed to grasp that God was already strong enough, wise enough, and helpful enough for my circumstances. He didn't need me fixed or the people changed to accomplish good, he just needed me to know him and rely on him in every circumstance. If you look back at that verse from 2Corinthians 12:9, it is all about what God has and is-- not what we are and need.

I'm not saying the prayer for wisdom, for strength, for peace, etc. is wrong. But in my case, I was hung up on seeking God's blessings on my plan-- not about knowing, enjoying, or relying on the Almighty God.

Praise God that the day came..actually days... where I broke down and listened to God, like Paul did. All my plans suddenly felt insignificant and futile. Which led me to, for the the first time ever, question my purpose. If my plan wasn't about becoming an amazing teacher, daughter, wife, friend, Christian.... what was I? I suddenly lacked purpose and vision in the career that I'd been passionate about since I was a child. I even questioned why God created me. These were the glorious musings I had as it dawned on me that life in Christ wasn't about awesome me & my awesome dreams. 

  And so I quit my career.

With all those years of striving & dreaming & passionately pursuing goals under my belt, I automatically thought God led me out of one career to replace it with a more influential career. Instead, about a month or two after leaving, I was flooded with grace.  I wish I could explain what happened in my heart-- and then in my life. Grace is my favorite part of God these days. 

  It's like all the burdens and weight I was carrying was lifted. It almost feels wrong to be so full of joy. Like, why me? Why now? Idk. Guess that post will have to be for another day when God sheds light on that topic.

  And the new [only] goal? To enjoy the Almighty God, to know him, hear him, and act when he leads me to act. That said, the mountains in my life are now mole hills. Personal habits I'd prayed over for years are suddenly natural for me. (Crazy.) Problems & people that broke me down are blessings-- and here's the kicker, they didn't change at all. So, I know who is doing it... I mean, these were all things I wasn't able to do myself. That's what's been amazing about this season of grace.  I have his peace over my head, and I'm taking joy in trials nowadays. When I do struggle it doesn't really relate to my circumstances-- I forget who my God is, and I revert to trying to take care of myself. I wonder if that is true of us all?

Clearly, I don't know the steps to solving sea-urchin-like problems. If I did, shoot, I would have followed them years ago. Instead, what I found, is that the grace of God, in sending his son to die on the cross as a blameless lamb, has already provided everything we each need.

  Faith in God, a relationship with Jesus Christ, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

 So, it's a pretty simple plan. Every time you feel that stirring to do something about your situation-- to change this, fix that, start this, end that.... do the opposite, listen.

Talk to God. Read the Bible. He'll direct your paths.

In Christ, he promises life, freedom, and peace. Provision, protection, and health. 

WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?

Because, friend, didn't you watch the video?? Jesus Loves You, This I Know. 

Some great reading to go along: 

Matthew 6: 25-33

 Proverbs 3