Deep Poverty

This week I am on SPRING BREAK! And I want to write about poverty. :)
Mark 12:41-44
Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny.
Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything-- all she had to live on." 

pov·er·ty/ˈpävərtē/

Noun:

The state of being extremely poor. The state of being inferior in quality or insufficient in amount.

If you asked the average passerby whether they would like to be in poverty, I think I can confidently bet on their reply being an adamant, "No thank you." Up until this point, that has been my reply as well. Of course I don't want to be in poverty.Verses come to mind and passages throughout the Word, of God's covenant of blessing, provision, and protection with his people. For instance,

Genesis 26:3-4 God speaks of his oath to Abraham's son Isaac.
"...I will be with you and will bless you... I will give all these lands... I will multiply your offspring as the stars of heaven... in your offspring all the nations of the earth shall be blessed..."



Psalm 103, one of my favorites,
^1" Praise the LORD, my soul;
   all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
² Praise the LORD, my soul,
   and forget not all his benefits—
³ who forgives all your sins
   and heals all your diseases,
⁴ who redeems your life from the pit
   and crowns you with love and compassion,
⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things
   so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s..."


Jeremiah 29: 11
^11" For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future..."

 Philippians 4:19
¹⁹" And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. "

These verses are beautiful promises of God, and attributes of his goodness. I believe and stand on them wholeheartedly, but my heart has changed as to what they mean. 

Go back and read the context of each of these verses. You'll see they center on people giving of themselves, people going through times of struggle, people in poverty. These promises were about what God gives to those who CANNOT fulfill their own needs. How can he redeem a life that is not in need of redemption? How can he satisfy the desires of someone who is finding satisfaction through their own means?

It's like when you see your friend dating someone who you know is not the right companion for them-- yet that person is filling enough of the need that your friend is in limbo, unable to go forward, yet unwilling to release. If your friend would simply let go, then s/he would be able to see how much they were really lacking. Only then, can your friend pursue a relationship that has the whole package. Same thing with trapping a raccoon, or so he says in Where the Red Fern Grows. The raccoon sticks its hand into the trap to grab the shiny item, and when it clamps its fist over the item, it cannot pull its fist back out of the trap. The raccoon will never be able to fully possess the shiny item, yet it will not let go. Even to the point that the hunter arrives and traps him, to his ultimate death. Are we just hanging on to the shiny item, unable to gain what we want, but forever seeking after it? Forever unsatisfied, and yet unwilling to let go of it all.

Take a look at this passage, Matthew 5:1-11,

 ¹ Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, ² and he began to teach them.

The Beatitudes

    He said:

   ³ “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
⁴ Blessed are those who mourn,
   for they will be comforted.
⁵ Blessed are the meek,
   for they will inherit the earth.
⁶ Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
   for they will be filled.
⁷ Blessed are the merciful,
   for they will be shown mercy.
⁸ Blessed are the pure in heart,
   for they will see God.
⁹ Blessed are the peacemakers,
   for they will be called children of God.
¹⁰ Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

   ¹¹ “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. ¹² Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Jesus tells us here that the blessed are persecuted, meek, poor in spirit, hungry [for righteousness], insulted... not that suffering is the blessing, but that you are blessed to realize your poverty and that there is only one that can satisfy what you need-- the Great I AM. And he won't just satisfy you, he will fill you up until your cup runneth over! We are all in a state of poverty without the blood of Christ. But I haven't met someone yet, who realizes this, without suffering. Some more than others.
I feel the spirit talking to me about a counter cultural version of being blessed. That Christ was saying, and still is saying, to take great joy in your poverty because that is where He steps in and provides for you.
The verse that initially triggered me to write today, is Mark 12: 41-44, as quoted at the start of this blog.

The rich threw in large amounts. Yet, it was the widow who sacrificed from her heart that pleased God. My question was, how do I please God when I have an abundance? I do not want to 'throw in large amounts' and be careless. I want to give like the widow... and then that's when I realized what a frightening statement that is.The widow wasn't just giving, she was sacrificing. Do we even know what the word means in a nation so filled with riches, comforts, and freedoms? And how do we sacrifice in a land of abundance?

Here is another,  Mark 14: 3-9

 ³ While he was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head.

 ⁴ Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, “Why this waste of perfume? ⁵ It could have been sold for more than a year’s wages^[a] and the money given to the poor.” And they rebuked her harshly.

   ⁶ “Leave her alone,” said Jesus. “Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. ⁷ The poor you will always have with you,^[b] and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me. ⁸ She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial. ⁹ Truly I tell you, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.”

This lady knew what was going on. She realized this world, her possessions, her physical well being-- they are worth nothing in the heavenly scheme of things. All she cared for was in honoring and being near the Christ. She had a heavenly perspective. Do you? Do I? Don't let this be a flippant moment. I'm not. I'm serious. I want to give like the lady who threw in her last two pennies, the lady who gave out of her poverty.

It is instinctive to run from poverty, but instead, I believe Christ is saying that we will never be pleasing to God until we come to a place of total poverty of spirit. A place where we realize the malnourishment of our souls, and our complete inability to redeem ourselves. In fact, any effort made to save ourselves, is further separating us from walking with, and in the image of, Christ. 

Where is your area of poverty? The area where you feel a slight (or more than slight) pressure that you might lose something.The area where you feel a little... unstable... a great need to control what you have.
It could be your relationship with your spouse or significant other. 
It could be your income. 
It could be your career and status at work.
It could be your relationship with your child(ren). 
It could be your material wealth (the latest ipad, television, gaming system, clothes, vehicle, etc. etc. etc.) 
And countless others...

What is your area of poverty?
GIVE it away. All of it. For the glory of God. (Frightening, right?)
This is how we bring the kingdom of God, the will of God, to earth as it is done in heaven. A complete and total trust, submitting everything we have to live on.

Mark 12: 44 They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything-- all she had to live on."   My area of poverty is having things perfect-- I say this is my area of poverty, because I can never have it perfect enough. I am always striving to do it better-- perfect. So a clean home, a lovely dinner with my husband, harmonious relationships, success in the classroom with my students, that I lead a well planned bible study, and so on... but the will of God is pulling me towards sacrifice. NOT giving these things up, but giving up my controlled way of doing them. Putting my two copper coins of perfection into the offering plate, and saying, have it all, Lord.

Face it.

  Generally I think of perseverance as hanging in there, and riding the storm out. But James 1:2-4 says 'let perseverance finish its work in you'. That makes me ask the question, how can perseverance NOT finish its work in you? Do you die before the hard times end? I don't think that's what James was getting at. There is more to perseverance than just hanging in there.

James 1: 2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

 James says a few things that really stand out in this amazing passage. 

1) Verse 2 "Whenever you FACE trials..."  To face something is to look it dead in the eye. To not shy away, but to purposefully turn to look at its size, its weight, and its form. To look at the reality of the situation.

If you are in tough circumstances, and saying something like, "Nothing's wrong. I'm fine." Or, "I will make it. I am an overcomer." Or, "I hate my lifeeeeeeee!" You may not be facing your trial. You may be ignoring it, minimizing it, or being overcome by it. I think I have said all three of these phrases over the last five months, lol. And all along, God was telling me to read James 1, but I wouldn't do it. I'm like, "Oh, I know what is says. I am being matured. Ok, I will hang in there and not grumble." Then I would find myself grumbling or whining the next day, and wonder why I am not being mature yet?! When will I ever get it? 

The trial I am facing is many fold: I am not able to rely on my own strength in relationships (perfectionism out the door); I am  not able to change the circumstances of being a teacher in my image driven district (control out the door); I can't sit back on the couch after work, because we have bible studies & weekly worship practices, in addition to mounds of paperwork to grade for school (laziness out the door). Talk about painful. I could handle one of those on my own, probably two... all that pride I have stored up over the years... so three is my magic number. What's yours?

Well, the pain of this all led me to ignore my trials, and when they still didn't go away, I minimized them, and when they got bigger, I gave up and was overcome by them (pity party). I have felt like more of a failure these past 5 months than I have ever felt in my life. That statement is a good one. Failure forced me to let go & understand this passage of scripture.

2) Verse 3, "You KNOW that the testing of your faith produces perseverance". First of all, do you know that your faith is being tested? To know is defined as to be aware of through observation, inquiry, or information. Of course this follows the verse of facing your trials, because once you have really faced a trial, you see yourself. You see how you are in a place of 'testing' as the verse says. James assumes that at least we would know this much, but ... uh... do we? Personally I get so busy that I don't even face my trials, I just keep moving forward, humming "just keep swimming, just keep swimming." In that case, I do not know that my faith is being tested. I am too busy ignoring, minimizing, or being overcome. We must face our trials, to know ourselves, to know that our faith is being tested. This is when perseverance is produced. (*Perseverance is not automatically produced by going through trials. That is why we all have repeated a trial more than once, right? We never faced it, and in doing so, never faced ourselves and how our faith is being tested. So... the trial came back around! Stop the cycle. Face the trial with joy, face yourself,  KNOWING that it produces perseverance. Why would you want to gain perseverance? Keep reading -->)

3) Verse 4, "LET perseverance finish its work..." But it doesn't stop with perseverance. Once you are truly persevering, then LET it finish its work. Don't give it a timeline, or try to figure out how to fix the trial or yourself. Perseverance is defined as continuing in a course of action in the face of difficulty, or with little or no indication of success. This process of continuing with no end in sight, THIS is where the spirit produces fruit in us. I pray that I come to understand this better, and that you do too.

4) Verse 2 & Verse 4 together. "Consider it pure joy" & "you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." The bookends of the verses. Joy? Where does a feeling of great pleasure and satisfaction fit into this topic? At some point during perseverance, we come to terms with the fact that we screw things up when we're in control. That may be very depressing (it has been for me), but after facing ourselves, we see a great, mighty, glorious Father who seeks to show himself through this. He sees our immaturity, and is asking us to choose to persevere, to let perseverance do its work, so that he can manifest HIS image of glory in us. As Christians don't we always try to manifest the image we have of him by ourselves? Go to church every week, don't curse, be a good mother/father, give to others... What a joke that I thought for one minute I could manifest his image without him. My ugly side leaked through in time, and there is only one God, so I'm guessing your ugly side will leak through too if you are as foolish as me, trying to do things in my strength.

The fact that by persevering in our trials, GOD, the one and only, is producing his image in us. THIS IS PURE JOY. By submitting to the process of perseverance, you are submitting to God, who can do all things through his glorious riches in Christ... all things. Even make you loving, joyous, peaceful, patient, kind, gentle, faithful, good, and self-controlled. Christians always hear, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!" And, "My God will supply all my needs!" Well yes, these are so true, but take them in context. It has much more to do with who God is and what he does, and a lot less to do with you doing things yourself. Eye opening for me!  Philippians 4:10-20

I often think that if I would only submit quicker, the trial would end faster. Where do I get that idea? Probably from my flesh that wants all painful things to come to an end asap. Anyway, God's word says LET perseverance finish its work. As in, release control, quit trying to fix it, and let me work in you SO that my will can be done on earth as it is in heaven.

I hope you are blessed by this. I wish I gained this wisdom sooner so as to not have grumbled & commiserated with others so often. I so badly want people to know my God, and I don't want to hinder that in any way. Ah, well, I trust Him to cover my sins, and I choose to LET perseverance finish its work in me, that the glory of God be manifested to many, that disciples of Christ would be the fruit. This brings peace and patience and great, satisfying, perfect joy.

Instead of just saying, hang in there. I think I will have to start saying, face it. Take great joy in your trials that the glory of God would be manifested in you as you are matured. That His name would be known in all families, cities, & nations.

Christmas Letters

  As a student teacher four years ago, I was blessed beyond measure to be placed with Mrs. Blomquist-- Penny by anyone who knew her. She had been teaching twenty-something years at this Title I school. Over time she has watched it become a tough and impoverished area of Arizona, an area most teachers try not to work at. So I jumped in to her classroom to student teach for a semester. She had already entertained countless other student teachers, and I was to be her last. She never tired of my mistakes and questions though, at least her face didn't reveal it! :) She embraced me.
  Penny is a tall, beautiful red-headed lady who possesses strength and elegance at the same time. She is loud with a big smile and bold voice, and she has a friendly way that welcomes young and old alike, from principal to janitor, from teacher of the year to, well, me. Her sense of humor above all  brings life to the classroom! The first week of school I remember her bringing fake boogers, and pretending to sneeze just to see how the kids would react! She has these trick thumbs that make light seem to bounce from thumb to thumb, and she would whip them out at a moment's notice. For one lesson she brought full scuba gear and persuaded me to don the outfit, of course to make the lesson 'more engaging'. I'm pretty sure it was mainly to give herself a good chuckle. Another time at science camp, she convinced me to stuff my mouth full of marshmellows and yell, "CHUBBY BUNNY!" repeatedly in front of 150 sixth grade students. I have the picture to prove it, and the memory of throwing it up into the trashcan too!
  One of my favorite memories of teaching with her was watching parents come in with big smiles because they had once been her students. The cool thing about it was that these parents were so different from her, and to be honest, I wouldn't have expected them to feel comfortable with Penny. Different skin color, different language, different culture, different religion, difference economic class... and yet they loved her, and I could see that she really loved them.
  Penny moved here from New Zealand as a young single woman, looking to be a teacher. She found this Title I school, and the rest is history! She has since married an American and become fully American herself--- that is, other than her unforgettable New Zealand accent. It sounds something like this,

New Zealand's Accent

 Simply put. She is an incredible teacher.

   I was fortunate to be a recipient of the Rodel Charitable Foundation of Arizona's promising student teacher scholarship. Among other things, it included being placed with a renowned mentor teacher who was working in a Title I [a low-income school that receives government funding] school. This is how I met Penny.

  That semester was one that I think back on in moments when I need strength or encouragement. Little does Penny know how much she has helped me teach. I've never met another teacher like her. She gave me everything she had to offer, she laughed with me when I felt like crying, and she really loved and accepted me in the way that I needed... plus, she disciplined my naughty students when I was at my wits end.
  And, Penny landed me my first teaching job... it was two doors down from her! I spent my first year teaching by modeling her, and going to her in times of confusion. Her shoulder was there to lean on, and her advice was invaluable. Thank you Penny, from the bottom of my heart, for your mentorship and your friendship to a fresh youngin' looking to change the world through teaching. After one year in the Title I school, Arizona  made giant cuts to its education department. I was teaching in the largest district in the state, and they laid off all first year teachers. So I parted ways with Penny, and began teaching in a smaller district, but I think of her often.

--
"Rachel, do your best to design lessons that pull students and parents closer. You would be surprised how little they communicate at home. Some do not even speak the same language as their parents."

   I will always remember this, among other things Penny told me. She gave me the idea for Christmas letters. Each year, about 3 weeks before Christmas break, I send home a private letter to each of my student's parents. It asks the parents to write a detailed letter explaining why their child is a gift to them. It asks them to be specific to what makes their child unique, special, and loved. They seal their letters and send them back to me with their children being none the wiser to it.

   The final day before winter break, I hand out the sealed envelopes as well as some specific directions:
 "Class, I love you very much. Each of you are a gift to me, and I will always cherish this year we have together. But there are some other people who love you with all their hearts too. They are your parents." At this point I hear some groans, kids squirm, and a few smile. I have two parent volunteers in the room, and they give me a look like, are you sure this is really going to work? Mr. LaGravinese is also visiting, and he sits watching quietly to see how this all goes down.

   "Your parents have taken the time to write you a private letter, which I have not read. They wanted to tell you why you are a gift to them, and as you read these, there will be no talking, no sharing of letters, and no noise. You will wait quietly until everyone has finished reading."
   In the front row, one of my students grumpily laid his head down, annoyed with me or another student. When I tried to hand him his letter, he burrowed his head further and ignored it. I continued to call out names, "Here you go Chris", "Here's your special letter Marcie", and so on. Finally all the letters are dispersed, and I announce, "You may quietly open your letter and read what you parent has written to you." There is excitement in the air, and students tear into them like there is gold inside, or better yet, Ipads.

   It's silent for a few minutes, and soon I see grins begin to appear on their faces. Up front I hear sniffing from Shelly, who has many times told me that her parents yell at her, and that's why she snaps at everyone in class. To the left I see AJ's cheeks turn rosy red and his eyes become glassy as he reads. His parent and I email daily to discuss behavior and academic progress. Bradley is sitting in the middle of the room beaming from ear to ear as he finishes his letter, and Travis is shyly wiping his tears over in his desk. The time finally comes to an end, and I ask for any reactions. Immediately hands shoot up, and over and over again students repeat, "I am so surprised my [mom/dad/grandma/aunt] wrote this!" Another student (boy!) said, "It made me cry because I felt so happy reading it." Another said, "My dad is really proud of me." Time was limited, so I had to cut them short and simply reaffirm that they are very valuable to their parents.
  The students began their crafts, and it was then that I noticed the boy up front, the one who had been so grumpy earlier. He had his head down, and he was shaking because he was crying so hard. I knew that he didn't have a mother figure, and it was just him and his dad at home, doing the best they could. This boy has been in trouble every year, and 5th grade has been no exception. I quickly became worried that the letter was mean, or that the dad hadn't written anything. (Since the letters are sealed, I never know what is said between parent and child, unless they share it with me afterward.)
   I knelt down close to him, and whispered, "What's wrong? Was your letter ok?... You know I love you very much!" He peeked up from under his arms, and whispered, "I'm.. just.. so happy my dad wrote this." Then he began to cry again.Shelly brought him tissues, understanding exactly how he felt, as she had just calmed down herself.
   Well, it was over for me. Waterworks! I looked up to see Mr. LaGravinese with tears in his eyes, and one of the mom's grabbed me and said how beautiful this activity was. She had watery eyes, and explained that she was expecting the kids to laugh it off, or throw them away.
   I looked back at the boy up front, and saw him  carefully decorating his letter with glitter glue. He had stopped crying, and was putting the most detailed effort into his letter. It was just one of those moments that would not be forgotten.
   Well, the day ended, and all the kids raced out to begin their two week vacations. I gave my last goodbye hug and turned around to find the boy standing at my desk, trying to use my scissors and string with a bit of frustration. I came up and asked him why he was still here? He handed me his letter, and explained that he was trying to tie the string through the hole he'd made, so that he could hang it on his Christmas tree at home.
We finished it together, and he gave me a big hug, saying, "Thank you Mrs. LaGravinese. Merry Christmas."
Out the door he went, letter in hand.

Today I finally went through all my Christmas cards from students. Some of them came with baked goods, nice candles, or even gift cards. After appreciating their notes, I put them all away... except for one, from the little boy who sits up front. His homemade card read,

"Merry Christmas Mrs. LaGravinese.  Enjoy the flowers and chocolate. I picked them out for you because I know they are your favorite. You will never be forgotten."

   I am really glad to know the letter from his dad is hanging on their tree this season, because that little boy is such a gift. The kind that's really tough to open, with a lot of tape and boxes inside of boxes, to the point that you get kind of frustrated trying to open it-- it makes you wonder, man, why would someone wrap this gift up SO tightly?! It's easy to see those issues wrapping up a child, isn't it? But let's face it, that's us too!
   We're wrapped up tightly with protective walls, hurts, bitterness, anger, fear... you name it, we are a tied up people. But, there is a letter written to us. For we have a God who intends to unwrap all those annoying ribbons and gobs of tape. He has written us his letter of love, and if we will read it, we might begin to grin ourselves, with some tears escaping here and there. For we are loved.

You. are. dearly. loved.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. 

Let 2012 be one of love, loving the author of mankind--God almighty. Loving yourself, for your one-of-a-kind personality, pain-in-the-butt ways and all. And loving others, the way you desire to be loved yourself.

Romans 5: 6-8
⁶ You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷ Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. ⁸ But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Man, we are really, truly loved. 

Gathering My Sanities Back.

The beginning of the year is always the hardest...most trying. The kids that I labored over day and night, building character and wisdom and confidence into their young little souls...well, now they belong to a new teacher. I get a quick hug in the hallways or a holler from across the schoolyard, and that makes me smile. I'm proud of them, I'm happy to see them being successful in middle school, I'm---

Brought back to reality. My darlings are gone, and standing before me is a fresh, new, wild class of 33 undeveloped young children who only want to cause me pain and suffering. Haha, teasing. That is a hyperbole, as I would tell them. They do not ONLY want to cause me pain and suffering, but in some moments, they do cause me to question my sanity. This group of kiddos feels more energetic, less responsible, and WILD... little did I know I was foreshadowing my first days of school when I decorated my welcome back board with animal cut-outs and the phrase, "Welcome to the Wild World of 5th Grade!" They are like uncaged animals set loose from the zoo! Oops, this isn't meant to be a rant. But teachers, you know you can sympathize with me. The beginning of the year... sigh. 

So, here are some August quotes from my new babies:

 QUOTE 1: During our reading lesson on how to categorize:

Me: (excited about my interactive smartboard activity): 

 "Today we are learning a reading skill called categorizing! I bet you are great at it! Take a look at these fruits & vegetables! For example, look at this pepper, would you categorize it as a fruit or veggie? Come on up and move it to the category you feel is best suited based on its characteristics."

Johnny: 

Raises his hand immediately.

Me: (thinking, yes! Johnny is normally sitting with his head down, sporting an 'I hate school' face of misery. I have a moment of pride that perhaps the worst is over. This is great progress!):  

"Yes, Johnny! What do you think?" 

Johnny: 

"Are you BLIND? Hello??? That's called a pea pod. Not a pepper." 

QUOTE 2: During a math lesson on multiplying two-digit numbers by two-digits: 

Me:

"Just line up your numbers on the right side. Now, let's multiply! Step one--" (I happen to turn from the board just at the right moment to witness--)

George:

"Shuffle,shuffle, shuffle... SLAM!" I see a blur of George jump from his seat, and book it out the classroom door.

Me: (Chasing student out the door) 

"GEORGE wait! Where are you going????"

George: (Holding his stomach in an attempt to appear ill.)

"When you teach math, I feel really, really sick."

*Please note George's theatrical escapee abilities are multifaceted based on the day's needs, and have included:

"When you teach math, I have to go pee really, really bad." 

"When you teach math, I really, really need to read my library book."

"When you teach math, I feel really, really sleepy."

"When you teach math, I really, really need to go to the nurse and get a cough drop, cough, cough, ehhh ehh ehh. Owwww, my throat. Seeeee?"  

[Check here for daily updates on excuses you can use to run out of any room at any time.]

__________________

QUOTE 3:

We have been on "heat advisory" here in AZ for a week straight. Students have no recess. Teachers have no sanity, nor a chance to eat, go to the bathroom, or breathe without 33 students tagging along. We drop the students off to lunch, and then race back to our rooms to sit for 5 minutes, until we hear the pitter patter-- haha! Wrong words-- thunderous stampeding of students racing to get back into class from the cafeteria to have "recess" in the classroom. So, that brings me to quote #3:

Students' echoes come bouncing down the halls: 

"YEAHHHH! INSIDE RECESSSSSS!"

Me: (Cringe)

 I quickly take my first (and knowingly last) bite of lunch. 

Students pop up at the door:

"HI MRS. LLLLLLLLLLLLLL! CAN WE COME IN?!?!?!"

Me (teasingly):

"Please give me one minute to gather my sanity back."

Emily (seriously):

"Oh of course Mrs. L."

Emily shoves the sweat stained, panting students out of the doorway like a pro and closes the door gently, seemingly sweeping all of the chaos out with her. Through the door's window I watch one extra tenacious boy squirm his way back, press his face to the glass, and stick his tongue out at me while making pig faces obnoxiously. I stare him down, chewing my single bite slowly and deliberately. Suddenly, to my private amusement, I see sweet Emily appear in the window just long enough to pummel the boy, clearly knocking him from the door, and then I hear her whisper authoritatively to the class:

"Shh. Shh. Mrs. L needs one minute to gather her sanities back. Line up quietly and make her proud." 

Smiling, I sit there for a minute, admiring the fact that I can sit in the silence of my room and just breathe for a moment, when a well meaning teacher walks by, and I hear:

"Students get out of the hallway! Where is your teacher? Why aren't you in class?"

Students:

"Oh, we can't go in there. Mrs. L is gathering her sanities back."

__________________

James Howell says, "We learn by teaching." 

I am learning not to take my teaching ambitions so seriously all the time. In those exhaustive moments when all seems lost, let a little smile spread across your face, and leave the troubles in the hallway. Take a moment to gather your sanities back.

I can do anything good!

Summer. Break. Rocks. 

"I can do anything good!" 

No funny stories today. But here is something to bring you a SMILE!

Now, my whole house is great!

I can do anything good! 

I like my school!

I like anything!

I like my dad!

I like my cousins!

I like my aunts!

I like my Allisons!

I like my moms! 

I like my sisters!

I like my dads!

I like my hair!

I like my haircuts!

I like my pajamas!

I like my stuff!

I like my rooms!

I, like, my, whole, house!

My whole house is great!

I can do anything good!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

I can do anything good!

Better than anyone,

Better than anyone!

Toss out the net, one more time!

It's May 24th, which means I have 1.5 days left with my students. A sigh of relief? Yes. A bit of sadness. Completely. A bit of why should I try to make them be quiet, line up straight, and take notes when I have tried for so long and some of them STILLLLL don't listen? Mmhmmm.

Every teacher faces the moment (sometimes daily!) when they ask themselves, will anything really change with this kid? I have poured my heart and soul into this child and he STILL curses in my face. I have designed lesson plans that rival a trip to Disneyland, and she STILL yawns and lays her head down! I have tutored him every morning for a year now, and he STILL fails his math test.

Sigh. When it is 1.5 days away from summer, many of us wonder, do our final days with this kid really matter? Will the ones that never changed really benefit from me slaving away for a mere 36 more hours?

I was reading the Bible tonight, and read Luke 5: 1-11. The fishermen have been casting their nets out ALL night long, with no luck. No fish, not a single little minnow to show for their sweat and tears. They haven't slept, nor probably eaten, and definitely have not rested. It is now morning, and they are ready to just get out of this dismal workplace. They're washing the stinky nets, which is probably the worst part of the day, and they are probably grumbling quite a bit. All of a sudden, a curious fellow named Jesus comes on the scene. One of the fishermen, Simon, is there, exhausted and just ready to leave the boat a mess and head home. (Sound familiar, teachers?)

Jesus steps onto Simon's boat uninvited and says, wait a minute. Would you please put your boat back out in the water? I need to teach this crowd, and they are too close to me here. I imagine Simon rolled his eyes and felt like crying, but he did so. After teaching the crowd for awhile, Jesus looks at Simon and graciously thanks him. He gives him a hug, and encourages him to go home and rest. No-- wait-- he doesn't say that at all! Instead, he calmly insists that Simon get back to work and throw out his nets another time.

Simon is probably thinking, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? First, I let you use my boat after a never-ending day and night of work, and now you want me to continue fishing after I am pretty darn certain nothing is going to change. Let me go homeeee. Out loud, Simon politely says, "Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything." Then he probably lets out a dramatic sigh, and he adds (in what I imagine to be a barely audible mumble), "But, because you say so, I will let down the nets."

Lo and behold, in the final moment, with the help of Jesus, the nets come back so full that Simon has to have his partner's boat come up and take 1/2 the fish, and both boats begin to sink! We are talking about A BIG CHANGE. A complete turnaround of what the fishermen had seen all night long, despite their hardest efforts.

So, what is God telling us here? Teachers, rally your troops one last time, and throw out your net. With the help of Jesus, GREAT things happen in the most unlikely of times.

Can you STILL not find a job after going to one thousand, three hundred, and ninety-nine interviews? Is your husband or wife STILL not listening after all the times you've explained to them what you need? Parents, is your child STILL not cleaning up his room after all the times you have given the responsibility speech?  Is your coworker STILL being a pain in the ... after all the times you have kindly put up with it?

There is hope in Christ in the most unlikely of situations. But there is something God is saying here that I think we really must note before saying, "Ok, [positive thinking. Yes, something good will happen to me. I just have to keep throwing out my net." Simon probably thought this plenty of times. He threw out his net all night long and nothing happened. It wasn't until Jesus came onto the scene... and notice the choices Simon had before anything good happened:

Christ asked Simon if he would let him stay on his boat, and Simon said yes despite exhaustion and frustration. Christ gave Simon the choice to throw out his nets, and he chose to listen to this guy. Life is hard. Really tiring and hard and in many situations, seemingly hopeless. But with Christ, there is hope, fulfillment, and radically unexpected GOODNESS.  Listen to where you feel Him talking to you, and say yes.

So, I'm off to finish up a gift for my students. I'm going to throw out my net one more time for these kiddos, and I fully expect a harvest.

That's us, dude!

The kids and I have begun what's called Socratic Seminars. We sit in a big circle and discuss interesting articles, fables, morals, etc. The point isn't to come to a right answer, but to recognize that, as Socrates says, "The only true wisdom consists of knowing that you know nothing." I love the movie Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Bill and Ted look at each other incredulously after reading this quote, and reply, "That's us, dude!"

The kids and I are realizing how much we grow through these seminars, which involve 90% listening and 10% talking. We begin by reading a passage of text and formulating our thoughts privately. We quietly jot down our individual questions and opinions. Once everyone feels they have something substantial to offer the discussion, we begin the seminar. There's no hand-raising or arguing, the kids and I just listen as one person poses a question and we respond as we feel led. Of course, everyone feels led, because we all wrote down our thoughts before the seminar began! But, only one person can speak at a time, and therefore no one has enough time to share everything they thought; they are forced to listen. This frustrates them, annoys them, and genuinely makes them want to shout out, "listen to me!" But, by the end of the seminar, we all stand there amazed by how much we learned from each other! I , "the teacher", come away astounded by how my eyes were opened to new ways of seeing the text just from listening to the kids.

The best was when one of my fifth graders stayed after school to share with me. This student is quite gifted and spends 1/2 the day in middle school because he is doing math two years ahead, and writing a year ahead.. When he is in our class in the afternoon, he tends to have a lot of the answers and isn't shy about speaking up. So, just after the bell rang and our seminar ended, he approached me in a quieter manner than usual.

"Mrs. LaGravinese, Socrates was right... In the beginning of the seminar I realized I was talking a lot, so I made myself stop and listen. About halfway through I realized that some of the quietest people in our class are really smart! And some of the kids who are in trouble a lot, had really good ideas. I learned so much from them, [laughs sheepishly] all because I stopped talking."

***

Listening to others is powerful, and opens your mind to possibilities you would never come to on your own. To listen, though, you must stop talking. You must stop thinking about yourself.
To truly listen, you have to believe that what the other person has to say is valuable.
Don't listen with the sole intent of offering solutions, or
Relating your own life to theirs.
The most unlikely and unseemly people have much to offer you, if only that through really listening to them, you have learned to love others as you do yourself.

How much of your day involves this kind of listening to others, with an open heart and an eager mind? This kind of listening is powerful in our relationships, like pouring some Miracle Grow into our lives. We will blossom with friends, family, God, and in understanding ourselves. If you think you're doing someone else a favor by "listening" to them, then you are probably not listening at all.

I think this kind of listening can be uncomfortable, frightening, and even painful as it both takes away your control and opens you to the possibility of change. You are laying down your opinions, your answers, your experiences, and all of your great wisdom. All of this with the intent to genuinely value and find worth in another.What a challenge!

Mark 12:28-31