Grace is My Favorite Part of God These Days

"The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us." -- C.S. Lewis

I saw this quote from C.S. Lewis the other day and thought it was meaningful, especially to my stage of life right now. I've experienced a lot of breakthrough's recently. To the onlooker they may appear insignificant, but for me, absolute miracles! Relationships mended, freedom from sins that have tangled me for a long time, changes in my thinking, healthy habits I longed for... just lots of amazing things. 

Let it be said that since childhood I have labored to conquer imperfection. I'm goal oriented. ;) Yet, imperfection clung around like a sea urchin on a rock in a storm. I have journal pages of goals, then remorse, and I definitely came to understand the feeling of 'not-good-enough-ness'. With that came more striving and goal setting... and the cycle continued. While goals are good and well, they don't produce lasting peace. Ultimately it has been the inability to produce enough perfection that led me to the realization I cherish today: I am weak. 

BUT HE IS STRONG!

 It reminds me of a children's song from summer vacation bible schools. You may have heard it. The lyrics went like, "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to him belong, we are weak, but he is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. The Bible tells me so." (If you haven't heard this relic, worry not-- here ya go!)

 

 Such a simple song, haha, but apparently the lyrics took a few years to hit home. 

Anyway, I have experienced more gratitude in the year 2013 than in all the years prior. I believe it's because of this teaching in 2Corinthians 12:9. The disciple Paul was originally Saul, a devout, highly respected Jew with all his ducks in a row and much of which to boast- the best education, family ties, religious ranking. Not to mention, goal-oriented and driven... until the day came that Jesus told Saul he had it all wrong. With new name, Paul placed his faith in Jesus Christ, and started serving Christ. He brought much knowledge and passion to the table. But he eventually faced a problem that was insurmountable. It just stuck around... yep, like a sea urchin clinging to a rock in a storm. Sound like something/someone in your life? After repeatedly asking God to help him, Paul tells of God's reply:

2Corinthians 12:9

⁹ But he [Jesus] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

And Paul immediately sees the situation differently:

Therefore I [Paul] will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 

 When I would be having a difficult time with something or someone, my mom would say, "Rachel, you're trying to do it in your own strength! Just give it to God." That was annoying. I was like, Mom?! I AM praying for God to help me! But in certain matters, despite my best efforts, the trouble remained. What I didn't get, was that I was praying that God would give me more strength, give me more wisdom, give me more success, give me more. I failed to grasp that God was already strong enough, wise enough, and helpful enough for my circumstances. He didn't need me fixed or the people changed to accomplish good, he just needed me to know him and rely on him in every circumstance. If you look back at that verse from 2Corinthians 12:9, it is all about what God has and is-- not what we are and need.

I'm not saying the prayer for wisdom, for strength, for peace, etc. is wrong. But in my case, I was hung up on seeking God's blessings on my plan-- not about knowing, enjoying, or relying on the Almighty God.

Praise God that the day came..actually days... where I broke down and listened to God, like Paul did. All my plans suddenly felt insignificant and futile. Which led me to, for the the first time ever, question my purpose. If my plan wasn't about becoming an amazing teacher, daughter, wife, friend, Christian.... what was I? I suddenly lacked purpose and vision in the career that I'd been passionate about since I was a child. I even questioned why God created me. These were the glorious musings I had as it dawned on me that life in Christ wasn't about awesome me & my awesome dreams. 

  And so I quit my career.

With all those years of striving & dreaming & passionately pursuing goals under my belt, I automatically thought God led me out of one career to replace it with a more influential career. Instead, about a month or two after leaving, I was flooded with grace.  I wish I could explain what happened in my heart-- and then in my life. Grace is my favorite part of God these days. 

  It's like all the burdens and weight I was carrying was lifted. It almost feels wrong to be so full of joy. Like, why me? Why now? Idk. Guess that post will have to be for another day when God sheds light on that topic.

  And the new [only] goal? To enjoy the Almighty God, to know him, hear him, and act when he leads me to act. That said, the mountains in my life are now mole hills. Personal habits I'd prayed over for years are suddenly natural for me. (Crazy.) Problems & people that broke me down are blessings-- and here's the kicker, they didn't change at all. So, I know who is doing it... I mean, these were all things I wasn't able to do myself. That's what's been amazing about this season of grace.  I have his peace over my head, and I'm taking joy in trials nowadays. When I do struggle it doesn't really relate to my circumstances-- I forget who my God is, and I revert to trying to take care of myself. I wonder if that is true of us all?

Clearly, I don't know the steps to solving sea-urchin-like problems. If I did, shoot, I would have followed them years ago. Instead, what I found, is that the grace of God, in sending his son to die on the cross as a blameless lamb, has already provided everything we each need.

  Faith in God, a relationship with Jesus Christ, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

 So, it's a pretty simple plan. Every time you feel that stirring to do something about your situation-- to change this, fix that, start this, end that.... do the opposite, listen.

Talk to God. Read the Bible. He'll direct your paths.

In Christ, he promises life, freedom, and peace. Provision, protection, and health. 

WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?

Because, friend, didn't you watch the video?? Jesus Loves You, This I Know. 

Some great reading to go along: 

Matthew 6: 25-33

 Proverbs 3 

A Rare Person

"It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear." -Dicket Cavett

 Something I keep remembering is how in Nelson Mandela's autobiography he said he had to keep it secret that he was having talks with the white government. It wasn't the secret that was so significant to me, but more so what led him to take that step.

Nelson describes his friends who had been imprisoned with him for decades. They were comrades in the ANC (African National Congress), a liberation movement for political change to eradicate apartheid. These friends struggled immensely together, often their allegiance to each other was the only hope that kept them alive. They were one in mind, operating not on their own initiative, but always consulting with one another for the betterment of their cause. The ANC's main goal was to create a united, non-racial, non-sexist and democratic society in South Africa. Nelson Mandela and his friends in the ANC were committed to the point of death, so you can imagine that their bond went beyond "friend."

Here's where it gets interesting:
Nelson describes how in time he began to see that the ANC's distrust of the white government was a great stumbling block towards the change they fought to accomplish. Yet it was also what had brought them together. Nelson himself was distrusting of whites to the point that he didn't even support the ANC's goal of a nonracial democracy for a long time. He, like many others, wanted the white government permanently out of power. He wanted the white people to leave the country or at a minimum be ruled by the real Africans. His views were not unfounded. The white government had unfairly imprisoned many black leaders for life, killed or crippled their families, lied, forbid blacks from education and then called them incompetent, passed laws to unfairly prohibit them from owning property, etc. etc. etc. Despite the valid reasons for total distrust of white South Africans,  his views of whites in general changed throughout his years in prison; he began to talk to them and in turn learn that many whites in his country were open and even willing to change their views. As he spoke more, the white community began to see him differently-- they began to respect him and even help him at times. It dawned on Nelson that he would have to work with the white government to achieve the democracy the ANC hoped for. He knew he had to keep this secret from the ANC, for the first time in his life, because his friends would argue that he was being weak, giving in, and forcing their cause backwards.

 Meanwhile the white government feared not just loss of power, but a violent coup if the ANC was given their way; so they were opposed to even recognizing the ANC. Not to mention the white government held little regard for the intelligence of a 'black man'. Therefore the majority of black ANC members feared that compromising with white officials would only communicate that they were, as most whites proclaimed, weak and inferior. All that was left was violence and war, as their peaceful requests to be heard had fallen on deaf ears.They began to train soldiers and prepare for attack.

Was either group willing to risk compromise? No. They didn't want to hear what was necessary to accomplish their goal if it meant loss of pride.

Except Mandela. While in solitary confinement, he decided to meet secretly with the president. He was the one to write and ask to meet with the man who had flat out refused, rejected, and looked down upon him.It took many efforts, but the president ultimately conceded. Despite being repeatedly belittled in the meetings, suffering many disappointments, betrayals, and lies, Nelson continued to meet with the president. Did he like the man? No. Did his friends point out every time the president went back on his word-- how naive Nelson was being? YES. But Nelson went beyond himself and the circumstances to seek peace for his nation, to bring about democracy. He was relentless in seeking peace and freedom for South Africa. He was a man of great faith.

I find this part of his life story unbelievable, and it reminds me of Jesus. Nelson was an innocent man in prison from 1962 to 1990! Forced to leave his wife, children, and aging mother to fend poorly for themselves. Can you imagine that? How bitter one would be to the government and people who unfairly stole those 28 years! After all the abuse and sickness in prison, he emerged full of hope. He didn't focus on the past, but the future at all costs. He had to. It was that, or defeat. And four years later, after his release, he was elected president... at the age of 76!!! After being crucified on the cross, Jesus prayed aloud, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." They KNEW they were killing him; Jesus had valid reasons for crying, send them to hell! But he was relentless in carrying out God's plan for peace and freedom of mankind.

It may be difficult to fight for what's right, but it's a rare person who humbles himself beyond recognition to act justly, while loving mercy, and all the time walking humbly with God.

Act justly, LOVE mercy, and walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8

Not Forgotten 

The Watoto Children's Choir is an African children's choir out of Uganda. Watoto means "children" in Swahili, and the choir is made up of children that lost parents to the AIDS epidemic or to war. I think they are the most beautiful choir. They sing a song by artist Israel Houghton called "Not Forgotten". [click orange link above] The kids are so thankful and happy in spite of their losses. Do you ever feel abandoned? 

You are not forgotten!

Psalm 68:5  A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling.

There are so many without families, and many more with families that are addicted or absent from the home for some reason. There is much reason to despair when considering the trouble in our world, but we are not forgotten. God knows our name, and therefore I do not despair. But instead, I put my hope in him.

In my neighborhood, there were bad things going on. My neighbors across the street had just escaped from a Phoenix ghetto, where literally their car had bullet holes throughout it. My neighbors on the other side of the street consisted of a grandma, her adult son, and his own son. The boy's mom was in prison, and I remember one day the boy found his dad dead in bed. I never heard if it was alcohol, drugs, or what. It was just sad. The neighbors a few houses down were supported by Indian Reservation funds until their house burnt down. And a few houses down from there was a home for foster kids. I remember when the SWAT team staged a drug bust in our cul de sac, and how my brother described the drug ring that his friends ran. You'd see cars come and go from that house all night long. My brother describes the crips and bloods showing up, and how they'd only talk to him when dealing because he wasn't a member of either gang. Some of those friends robbed our house and they'd beat each other just to 'toughen up'. I remember one of his friends took care of his mom, who was dying because of her meth addiction. She was his only parent. Another of his friends accidentally shot himself with his parent's gun. Another one hit and killed an elderly man with his car, sending the boy to prison. This is only a snippet of stories from a single neighborhood among millions.

In my house, we had our own dynamics. Addiction, anger, financial strife. Typical things of our neighborhood. There are a few memories from childhood that are seared into my brain, and one was of chasing my brother. He is two years younger than me. Unlike me, he made friends in our neighborhood. There were a lot of boys on the streets at all hours, and they got into trouble early on. My brother's story of the first time he smoked pot is really heart wrenching. And how that led to meth, heroine, homelessness, dealing, stealing, etc. etc. etc. I remember being home and realizing that my brother was going to go do something bad. I was crying and begging him not to go, but he was so cold. I am not lying when I tell you that his eyes were like stone, so dead. It was frightening. He shoved me out of the way, and went out the door. I was desperate for him not to leave, and was afraid he would die. I chased him down the street, screaming and crying for him not to go, but he hopped a fence to try and lose me. I got the car and tried to follow him, but eventually he crossed the main road into these apartment complexes and I lost him. I remember just sitting there in the car, devastated that there was nothing I could do.

That day I felt like I lost him forever. [I didn't. Thank you God.] The weird thing was that I never saw myself as a victim or felt like I wouldn't make it. I believed God that I would.

The other day I was at a Christian leadership training with hundreds of other people when I ran into a woman that used to live in my neighborhood. She and her family moved out, but I remembered her because she took me to church a few times and even got me to go to a church camp. When the lady realized who I was, you should have seen the shock in her face! She stumbled over her words, saying something like, "You? You don't go to chur--" and she kinda' stopped herself. I'm pretty sure I know what she was thinking. She was surprised I was at a church function, married, a teacher of four years, and happy.

Her reaction was so weird. I always saw myself as the person that I am today. But I wonder what she thought of me, back in those days when I lived in the hood with a brother on the streets, a father who yelled loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear, and a house that wreaked of illegal substances. I have to laugh. It's true. Who would have guessed?

This is my story of hope. There are many, many good things God did throughout my childhood. Vacation bible schools my mom put me in, special friends he gave me, loving neighbors, teachers, extended family, a home in Northern Arizona for a few years, and much more. So please don't get the wrong impression. I was always blessed and I don't consider those hardships to even be worth mentioning, other than that sometimes things need to be shared.

I have journals filled with prayers written in childish scrawl to a God I knew was there, though I didn't know who he was. The miracle is that I was not forgotten. God led me to salvation in Jesus Christ. There are far greater miracles and impressive stories out there. There are many who explain Him in a grander way, but I can at least tell you that my heart beats for Him. I pray today that God makes it so obvious to you that you are not forgotten, and that He is there for you, too.

  This graffiti art is from my old neighborhood corner. A picture is worth a 1,000 words.

Psalm 139 [click me]

IF there is a God,  and IF He really did create such insane laws in the Bible... WHY?   (insert echo effect)
  One of my strongest memories of my dad is how he would never help me. Not in the way I wanted. When the computer froze and I had to finish my report for middle school, he gruffly said, "Rachel, figure it out." He didn't even say it nicely! I cried, but he became meaner.
When something was hard for me, he would look me in the eye, and say, "No one is going to solve your problems for you. You have to find out the answers yourself. Stop looking to other people."   As a child, that was infuriating. I just wanted HELP! My dad's parents surrendered their parental rights and made him a ward of the state when he was a teen. He was on his own for some really formative years of his life, and it reaffirmed in him a hard, unrelenting sense of, "I'm on my own." But out of that experience, I think I would not be speaking out of turn when I say that his greatest desire for his kids was for them to be able to stand up on their own two feet. To celebrate failure and success on our own terms without someone dictating what is right or wrong. That's probably why we didn't go to church, or anything else that conventionally grouped people together. And yet, sometimes, under his shirt, my dad would wear a cross.    To this day, I don't understand it all. But I don't have to, to love him. 
Today, I honor something he taught me through those rough moments. He taught me to think for myself. Most people wouldn't look at me and say that I'm a 'tough' person. I cry at loving gestures, at heartbreaking stories, when a friend leaves, when I'm mad... all the way down to, well, sappy commercials. I also smile a lot. And, I love, love, love seeing people feel good. I hate hurting people's feelings. Heck, last night I apologized to the cricket in the bathroom when I squished him because I couldn't keep him still long enough to get him outside. [Thank you, Mom.]   But I am strong in mind and heart. [Thank you, Dad.]   Dad kept slamming the door in my face, I think, in hopes that it would shake me from that follower way of thinking. It was a tough way to learn a lesson, but he could be a tough guy.  And, such is life, right? A tough guy.
  People respond to life in weird ways. Some of us don't want to conform so we join the rebels. (Isn't that ironic?) When you stick it to man, stick it to religion, and stick it to conformers, you feel different.   We're not that different.    And on the flip side, some of us are so close minded that we wouldn't for a second consider that we might be..shhhh.. wrong.  We are so proud of what we know, and hate whatever threatens that. We think we're different.  We're not that different.     Truth is paramount for me these days. Truth is not relative. How then could it be truth? It would be perspective. Truth is black and white.

truth/tro͞oTH/

Noun:

The quality or state of being true: "the truth of her accusation". That which is true or in accordance with fact or reality: "tell me the truth".

fact/fakt/

Noun:

A thing that is indisputably the case. Information used as evidence or as part of a report or news article.

  (Disclaimer: I do not always know what the truth is. I am the rebel and the close-minded fool  in a beautiful combination of human-ness if I must say so myself. I've got both wonderful strengths going for me. ;)   So, in terms of God. There has been a lot of hubbub lately about the Biblical law declaring homosexual activity as sin. It causes a lot of people to point fingers at Biblical laws and say-- seriously? You really accept that as truth?  Others' responses include some interesting gestures [not just the middle finger].

• Some excuse the Bible, asking forgiveness for its errors, saying it's translated wrong in parts.
• Others say the Bible is out of date, creating a mish-mash of what sounds right to them. Being tolerant or even accepting of varying viewpoints to cohabitation on our planet.
  
• And some opt out. No thanks. How about another religion, science, or philosophy instead?
  

One has to admit: If you say any of the three above, you conflict with many verses in the Bible. It claims it is the word of the one and only God, the truth, useful for all training, and perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Without faith in its message of unearned salvation, the result is an eternity in hell.
 If you lean towards a version of one of the bulleted responses, you don't really believe the claims above. So before going there, one who authentically wants to find out if the Bible is the truth, [despite personal misgivings, to put it lightly], would have to ask...   IF there is a God,  and IF He is the God of the Bible, Then,
WHY?

And that is a very honest [and possibly frightening] place to be.  Examine the Bible in its fullness with a careful eye. careful heart. careful, questioning prayer.
Acts 13 is interesting. It sums up the history of how God has moved, and towards the end says, "Through him everyone who believes is set free from every sin, a justification you were not able to obtain under the law of Moses."   After reading the book of Romans, and combined with the above [among super many others] it becomes apparent that: While the law reveals sin, it does not provide a means to overcome it. (As some say.. laws were meant for breaking. Didn't God know these laws wouldn't work for us?...wait a second, did he? And if he did, and he still included the laws...) They must be necessary; for if we can't see sin, or think we can achieve the commands set out in the Old Testament, how can anyone find genuine value in God's redemption through Jesus Christ?  You might, might, might just not understand the law. There are a LOT of people coming up with some interesting responses w/o ever considering the Bible. It's possible they don't want to take the time; they find themselves very educated and appraise or create truth instead; they listen to what someone else tells them.  But they're just people.  In the vastness of that giant Bible God says that the law is both just and impossible to meet; not that it's useless.
He says the law is perfect. It's just that... as He so nicely puts it... we forever fall short. Whether we try super hard or not at all.  We fail. So, Jesus Christ saves and redeems, showing no favoritism.  THAT is a true story for Jews and Gentiles alike.  To me, that is amazing news on this Friday.

Do It Afraid.

When I read, I try to picture everything in my mind line by line. It's a way to stay focused and draw the most meaning out of the words. Sometimes if I don't do that, I can't even recall what I just read. I do this with the Bible too. There's just one difference. When I read the Bible, I am believing every image that it describes, and I am committing it to heart as truth.

SO.
Last night before bed I was watching Acts 8-11 in my mind [reading]. It describes Stephen being stoned to death while a man named Saul stood by giving approval. Saul then goes on a rampage destroying and murdering Christians everywhere. It reads, "Saul was breathing out murderous threats...". (Please note: Saul believed in God. This is why he was so put off by this Jesus Christ claiming he was God.) Then it goes on to describe Saul's astonishing repentance and his decision to believe in and follow Christ. (It might be important to note that Jesus literally spoke to him from the heavens in a booming and authoritative voice, asking why Saul was persecuting him... then he blinded Saul.)

The only reaction it mentions from Saul is that he falls to the ground and asks,  "Who are you, Lord?" Jesus reveals himself to Saul, and gives him specific directions. Saul is still on the ground, shaking in fear, as far as I can tell.

Anyway, in this process, God speaks to another man, Ananias, in a vision, telling him to pray over this man Saul who is now a believer. Ananias, though totally afraid for his life, is obedient. Majorly good things go on to happen.

Then I got to ch.10 where a gentile [non-Jewish] commander in the Roman army is visited by an angel during his prayer time. The angel says something to the effect of, "Cornelius! Your love for God is evident. But there is more for you to know. Send men to retrieve a man named Peter, who will be waiting for you at Simon the Tanner's house in Joppa." The part I pictured was the way it described this obviously strong war hero's reaction: "Cornelius stared at him in fear." (But he did send his men for Peter.) Majorly good things go on to happen for Cornelius, his family, and friends.

What did I learn from my night-time reading? Well, my dog woke me up to go to the bathroom at midnight. As he wandered the yard playing fun night-time games, I stood there in the dark feeling very.. vulnerable. Not to bad guys. Not to wild animals. To God.

I was like, Oh dear.  Is an angel going to appear? I was spying out the shadows, seeing glints from the streetlight, and hearing things in the bushes. I was totally freaked out... that an angel was about to appear and tell me something CRAZY!

I had to laugh this morning. I'll tell you what though. I believe, and I will do it afraid. God isn't just a lovable teddy bear to squeeze when you feel lonely. He is serious business.

(And p.s. I can totally understand why people tried to literally hide from God by changing towns, etc. I turned on the lights and went in the house to feel safer... from God?? lol, really Rachel? A God appearance is intense.) Before you judge me to too harshly, look at these guys!

1. Saul was a powerful, murdering, cocky son of a gun. When God showed up... He cowered in fear on the ground.

2. Ananias was a faithful disciple already following God. Yet his immediate response was, "I am going to be killed. Lord, please nooo!"

3. Cornelius was a revered commander in the Roman army, and a faithful man of God. His response? A 'deer caught in the headlights' look of total fear. 

In the end, no angel visitations for me last night. Just an awesome dream about Disneyland where I had to solve a mystery. It was amazing.

Take God at His word. 

And when you feel afraid, you're in good company.  

People Projects

I'm not about turning people into projects. If I'm spending time with you, it's because I like you.

So, my wonderful friend Leah referred me to a blog called The Very Worst Missionary. I skimmed it and had a good time reading the lady's musings, until I read the line above. "I'm not about turning people into projects. If I'm spending time with you, it's because I like you."

I had to stop and think for a minute. I wish it was because I was just bathing in the thought of how much I agree. But it stung in the opposite way. I remember once telling my best friend that my husband is the only person I trust totally. She looked shocked, and hurt. I immediately thought, "Why on earth did I say that?" Followed by, "Shoot..it's true." 

So here's what I figure. God has been my best friend for a long time, and I know He has my back. I just love him so, so, so, so much. Not in a religious zeal kind of way, not in a bragging sort, or to uphold my Christian image. But in an honest to goodness, seriously, there is no one who has filled my heart to the brim with joy, peace, and absolute love like you. He was there when I was in the pits, and I didn't imagine it. I know it. But anyway, because of that relationship with God, when I meet people, the driving force is that they would know Jesus Christ too. And here's where things start to unravel.. I figure that I need to try to do this, and that, and everything I can to be... for lack of better words, perfect for them. In essence, there is a project in the midst. And the problem with me "trying to do this, and that, and everything I can to be... for lack of better words, perfect".. is that my whole logic here is just kind of contrived; this plan requires a perfect Rachel, and that is not me. There's a lot of great inadequacies I have to share with my friends..hehe.

The ah-ha moment today is that in many relationships I have 'tried' to bring God to people, instead of trusting that God brings himself just fine. Whooee! I can be plain ol' me enjoying plain 'ol them. That's a relief.  I won't ruin people's lives by letting them get to know me just as I am. It's ok if they don't like me. It's ok if God works in mysterious ways; I can trust him. I can trust people!

That got my brain rolling. Back in the day, there was this girl in my art class in college that brought tuna for lunch every day. She dressed weird, and she laughed a lot. She always opened her tuna in class, and everybody would gather into their lunch circles and talk about how she smelled, and what a weirdo she was. It made me mad. I liked her. Genuinely. But after reading that quote above, I started to question myself. Why do I always like the underdog? Should I not gravitate towards people like that? Is is just me wanting to find more... projects??? Augh. I was kind of having a mental break down. Because seriously, if you know me, you know I love the underdog. And I was starting to feel really sad about it all, and just unsure of my motives.

Well, then I went to clean off my kitchen cork-board, and beneath all the papers, I found an old index card with three verses on it. They read: 

Luke 12.. "Be dressed ready for service and keep your lamps burning. [...] The Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him. 

Luke 13.. "I make every effort to enter through the narrow door." 

Luke 14.. "But when you give a banquet invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed.You will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous." 

It felt so good to read those, especially the last one. Jesus is all about loving the people at the bottom of the totem pole. He swam upstream, when most went down. And he has created that in me too. I really love people who are different. I find them inspiring, funny, and interesting. And I can say confidently now that it's not because they're a project, but because underdogs are like hidden treasure. I absolutely know Jesus would love to hang with them, and how much he loves them cannot be contained in me. I know that Jesus is smiling at how much I love the underdog. 

G is for grace.

"I do not know any way to explain why God's grace touches a man who seems unworthy of it." 

Whittaker Chambers

I like this quote. It suits my mood tonight of how I totally don't understand God's grace. The more I don't deserve it, the greater I receive.

Just want to say thanks to God for being the best friend I could ever have. Such an encourager and lover when I'm most unlovable. Teaching me to be that way to others. Will I ever get it fully? I just don't think so. Not in this lifetime anyways. But it's inspiring. When people talk about a good person in their lives, they say, "I hope to someday be just a fraction of what he [or she] was...". That's exactly how I feel. I'm just so enamored with this love I've found in Christ.

It's ... out of this world. ;)