That's us, dude!

The kids and I have begun what's called Socratic Seminars. We sit in a big circle and discuss interesting articles, fables, morals, etc. The point isn't to come to a right answer, but to recognize that, as Socrates says, "The only true wisdom consists of knowing that you know nothing." I love the movie Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Bill and Ted look at each other incredulously after reading this quote, and reply, "That's us, dude!"

The kids and I are realizing how much we grow through these seminars, which involve 90% listening and 10% talking. We begin by reading a passage of text and formulating our thoughts privately. We quietly jot down our individual questions and opinions. Once everyone feels they have something substantial to offer the discussion, we begin the seminar. There's no hand-raising or arguing, the kids and I just listen as one person poses a question and we respond as we feel led. Of course, everyone feels led, because we all wrote down our thoughts before the seminar began! But, only one person can speak at a time, and therefore no one has enough time to share everything they thought; they are forced to listen. This frustrates them, annoys them, and genuinely makes them want to shout out, "listen to me!" But, by the end of the seminar, we all stand there amazed by how much we learned from each other! I , "the teacher", come away astounded by how my eyes were opened to new ways of seeing the text just from listening to the kids.

The best was when one of my fifth graders stayed after school to share with me. This student is quite gifted and spends 1/2 the day in middle school because he is doing math two years ahead, and writing a year ahead.. When he is in our class in the afternoon, he tends to have a lot of the answers and isn't shy about speaking up. So, just after the bell rang and our seminar ended, he approached me in a quieter manner than usual.

"Mrs. LaGravinese, Socrates was right... In the beginning of the seminar I realized I was talking a lot, so I made myself stop and listen. About halfway through I realized that some of the quietest people in our class are really smart! And some of the kids who are in trouble a lot, had really good ideas. I learned so much from them, [laughs sheepishly] all because I stopped talking."

***

Listening to others is powerful, and opens your mind to possibilities you would never come to on your own. To listen, though, you must stop talking. You must stop thinking about yourself.
To truly listen, you have to believe that what the other person has to say is valuable.
Don't listen with the sole intent of offering solutions, or
Relating your own life to theirs.
The most unlikely and unseemly people have much to offer you, if only that through really listening to them, you have learned to love others as you do yourself.

How much of your day involves this kind of listening to others, with an open heart and an eager mind? This kind of listening is powerful in our relationships, like pouring some Miracle Grow into our lives. We will blossom with friends, family, God, and in understanding ourselves. If you think you're doing someone else a favor by "listening" to them, then you are probably not listening at all.

I think this kind of listening can be uncomfortable, frightening, and even painful as it both takes away your control and opens you to the possibility of change. You are laying down your opinions, your answers, your experiences, and all of your great wisdom. All of this with the intent to genuinely value and find worth in another.What a challenge!

Mark 12:28-31

Footprints in the Sand

You may have seen the popular poem, Footprints in the Sand? The poet describes a dream she had of walking with the Lord across a beach. As different parts of her life pass by, she notices that in each scene she can see their footprints in the sand. At times the dreamer describes seeing two sets of footprints walking together in the sand. Yet at other times there is only one set, and she realizes that it's during the hardest times of her life that the other pair of footprints disappear. She is bothered by the abandonment of the Lord in her most difficult times, and she asks, Lord, though you promised to always be there with me, why weren't you there when I needed you most? The Lord replies to her, I was there. I was the one carrying you.

***

In our bible study we are talking about "Walking Across the Room" ... having the confidence to leave your place of comfort and step out for people; taking an interest in other people's lives and taking a risk in getting to know others, and allowing them to get to know you. In the DVD segments of the study, I have been so astounded to hear the stories of people whose lives have been changed by conversations that took place months and even years before.

***

So why these sentimental snippets? Well, today was one of those moments, where I thought there was only one set of footprints.  If you know me well, you probably know that I'm a lover. I love animals, I love hugs, I love people, I love wholesome movies where love triumphs in the end.  I am just that way. I've always been a peace seeking person, and I believe that love is the single most important purpose of my life, as well as the route to peace.

Love, however, has another aspect. Love is fierce. It defends, protects, and perseveres in the face of evil. Love causes conflict. Love is a fight. You've seen it in the movies, right? Well, that side of love surfaces in me every now and then too. I am passionate about children. This isn't some cliche saying or a get up on my soap-box moment, it just is. I will fight you to the death over a child's safety, wellbeing, and future. So today, in a conference room meeting for a former student of mine, I felt something was going wrong. I felt like this boy needed a champion to step into the ring and fight, and, I jumped in! My heart was beating fast, and I felt my face getting flushed. My voice shook and my eyes had.. some moisture. After I spoke up,  I got a response all right!

...  .... ... 

The Silent Treatment. 

It would have been a perfect moment for the crickets to begin chirping and frogs to croak.

Soon after, the meeting ended awkwardly. I felt like, oh my goodness, what did I just do? Was I rude to my coworkers, and to these school officials I barely know? This is so unlike me! Yet, I didn't regret it. I gave the mother a hug, and went my way. I wished the Lord had shown up and said, "Thus sayeth the Lord. Give this child what he needs!" But, instead, I felt a bit wimpy with the silent reaction to my boxing ring fight.

It was late in the afternoon by this point, and the school was pretty empty, so I went to my room to take care of a few things before leaving. Suddenly one of the women who had been in the meeting came in. She said, "Rachel, we (several of the faculty in the meeting) were talking about what happened. Thank you. Thank you so much for what you said. You were in that meeting for a special reason." We talked a bit more and she left. She confirmed the surge of crazy love I had felt earlier in the conference room! Maybe my walk across the room for this student was heard.

I got home and after dinner, I thought, you know, I want to email that student's mother. She has been through the wringer since I've known her. Homeless, raising her children alone, searching for work, attending all her son's meetings, taking him to the hospital for diagnoses, listening to negative word after word about her child, etc. etc. etc. It was part of the reason I felt so much compassion for her in that meeting. 

I logged in to my school account and saw one new email, from her. I began to cry and praise God as I read it.

Hello,

   I just wanted to say thank you again. Between you and I, the other people in that room did not seem to care at all about what's been going on. I receive negative email after negative email, and it is hard to think that he might have to go through this all over again. But I don't want him to be pushed along, falling through the cracks, and not receive an education. It's very hard to do all of this by myself without his father helping me, but I will do anything for my child, he is the one that counts! THANKS AGAIN FOR BEING IN ----'s CORNER:) you are truly a great gift from God!!*

I thought I was fighting alone in that room, but little did I know, the Lord was carrying me. Just like the poet asked in the poem, "But Lord, you said that if I followed you, you would always be there?" He was there all right, and he was speaking in the silence of that room. As far as being a great gift from God, that mother has blessed me more than I ever could her.

God is always there, whether you and I can see it at the time, and whether we are ready to acknowledge it. I believe more than ever, that love is worth the fight. Love your spouse, love your coworkers, love your family, your children, and walk across the room to love strangers. God is in the midst changing lives, today, tomorrow, or years down the road.

Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins. 

1Peter 4:8

*paraphrased for privacy