I decided to become a teacher because school was very important to me as a child. It was a safe place that I could be successful and have control over my outcomes. Work hard, be rewarded. I think because I was fortunate to have a knack for academics, that way of thinking became sort of a motto for life. You know you've heard it, and maybe even believe it yourself, "You can do whatever you put your mind to."
Ah, if only that were true. I've said that to many a kid, and in school, it is generally a valid statement. As we teachers often say behind the scenes, it's the high-achiever that does better in the classroom than the intelligent student who thinks outside of the box. The reason? School is largely based on effort..do your homework, study the material the teacher provides, strive to exceed the expectations laid out in the rubric. Check, check, check. Hard work can pretty much predict success, coupled with perseverance and willingness to find a way.
Unfortunately, or maybe not so unfortunately, life is not as predictable. Injuries, illnesses, disabilities, accidents, lack of opportunity and the like can prohibit us from "achieving whatever we put our mind to." We learn through our own weaknesses, failures, and unfair dealings with life that things don't always go our way-- no matter how hard we may try. Yes, effort more often than not leads to tangible success. But failure, so to speak, develops something much more divine... an impervious spirit.
Something I'd like to instill in my daughter is that she is a masterpiece, unlike anyone else on the planet. She is uniquely gifted and contributes to our world that which no other person can bring-- herself. She ought not compare herself to someone else, or sell herself short because of the opinions and expectations of others. That's something we all need to hear time and again. And yet, I'd like to couple that with the sage advice that there will be a time (or two) that she will not accomplish whatever she puts her mind to.
And, not only is that all right, it is worthy of embracing. When our eyes open to our weaknesses and life's injustices it can make us a hardened and hopeless people. Yes, we grieve, for different lengths of time and in varying ways-- but I also pray we reach a brilliant moment of humility. In realizing our humanity, rather than despair, may we come to the plain truth that life is meaningless without God. May we acknowledge that we need a relationship with this God of the universe. The way we thought things should go are lost. We can ignore the pain, live with the pain, or by His grace, step out in surrender and say we'd like to know this God; in time, placing our full trust in the One we come to know. It's in getting to know the Creator that we receive redemption, healing, and, out of that flows love. Love for God, and a powerful love for others. This kind of love isn't out of our successes and helping a fellow up to where we stand triumphantly; in fact, it's out of shared understanding that we can't fulfill life on our own. It feels, at times, a bit sad. We grieve the life we thought we would create. Oh, but then, a beautiful life is not composed of college degrees, world travels, or the ideal family unit. It's patched together in quiet moments of empathy, a gained resilience, deeper and wider perspective, in freely proclaiming gratitude, and in the well seasoned, long endured patient love that has weathered the storm. This life shines through the clouds, bright as a new day.
This one goes to my precious daughter.
"Your beauty should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1Peter 3: 4
